30 Hours in Transit

After a while, flying overseas starts to feel like being in prison. There are few windows, an overwhelming sense of isolation, and the silence is pierced with occasional screams of neighboring passengers (usually babies). The only way to truly gauge the amount of time passing is when meals are brought about, approximately once every 4-6 hours, depending on the airline. Which brings me to the topic of this post, something that brings about revulsion to many, but curiosity in me - airplane food.

I will generally eat anything that's in front of me, and don't discriminate food-wise (unless bananas are involved), so I give you an unbiased review of airplane services, meals included.

Air Pacific
I flew with these guys for about 12 hours (given the fact that I was served two meals), and their service is top-notch. They had no qualms about giving me a window seat, and in fact I had an entire row to myself for the ocean-crossing flight. Each passenger has their own personal entertainment screen, and I had Flight of the Conchords, The Office and Hannah Montanna (don't judge) to help me pass the time. They also asked for ID when they gave me champagne, which is pretty cool considering I became legal over 5 years ago.

Meals were pleasant:

Meal 1: Veggie sandwich (cucumber, tomato, sprouts), vegan lemon cookie (delicious!), canteloupe and honeydew fruit dish, chips and orange juice.

Meal 2: Sauteed spinach and tomatoes with homefries (excellent!), raspberry yogurt, semi-frozen canteloupe dish, orange juice, bun and butter.

They even gave us our own little treat bags that included moist towellettes, sleeping mask, headphones, a blanket, and for some reason, freshly washed socks (I smelled them to make sure).

Air Quantas
This airline is a smaller, crappier version of Air Pacific that I used to hop from Fiji to Brisbane. I thought the flight would take two hours, but to my dismay I forgot to account for the 4 hour time difference. Sitting next to a drunk burping up Heinekin for the entire flight duration did not help.

Meal: Sauteed eggplant and onions with corn and tomatoes, accompanied by a mysterious mound of potato-cheese-spinach. I truly enjoyed the mystery. Also included pineapple, papaya and mandarin fruit dish, bun with butter, and orange fruit 'drink.' They also handed out casava chips, which I devoured in transit to St. Lucia. I requested vegetarian meals for this trip. One look at my neighbour's pale, rubbery, uncooked (and uneaten) sausage and eggs confirmed that I made the right decision.

American Airlines
Pictures may not be included - OH, JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE ON THIS AIRPLANE! Care for a sandwich? A chocolate bar? Some pretzels? You can enjoy them all on your 4 hour flight to LA - if you pay for them. Want to watch the inflight movie? You can try to lip-read the script, or pay $2 per audio headset. Pillows and blankets? Nowhere to be seen. This is the reason why I was driven to smuggle in liquids and golden delicious apples (later confiscated).

Some advice for travellers while flying:
-Always, always smile when you're asking for something. This helped when they waived my $50 USD fee for overweight luggage.
-Ask for a window seat when possible. Windows don't mind if you accidentally drool on them while sleeping. Also, my dad once asked for a window seat and was upgraded to business class, a feat I have yet to achieve.
-Use the buddy system. This will ensure that you are awoken for your airplane meal. Especially important if you're a starving student and don't to pay $5 for coffee and a muffin at LAX.